Death of My Sanity

This week is so far a big week for me and it's only Monday. I think it's cause i've had so much time at home with the sick lil cookie. Time at home, or the lack there of, is my constant crutch as to why my house is in such shambles a good 85% of the year.


Now that i have had ample time at home (albeit while trying to entertain a 6 y/o), i am sick and tired (que the Bill Cosby: Himself rendition he does of his wife when the children make her angry.) :o) I am just sick, Sick, SICK!


And not only is it because we are a family of 3 procrastinaters that don't pick up after themselves, but because up until a few months ago, i had no style. :o) Now that i have an idea of what makes our family comfortable--and basically how i would like my 24 hour "office" to look, i want to show no mercy, however...


When it comes to things like this,



i can't seem to let go of it easily.

What it is, you ask? It's one of those "post burning incense, pre waxy melty incense thing-a-ma-jiggies". You place water and a drop of essential oil in the glass saucer, and you light a tea candle underneath. And "aaaah", better than an Airwick. :o)

And why does this mere object cause such torture to my soul at the thought of parting with it?

It's got too much sentimental attachment for one. It was a 1st apartment warming gift from a dear friend that i don't get to see or talk to much anymore, so when i see it, it reminds me of her and all the fun we had when she let me move in with her while i finished up my pharmacy internship in Spokane and the huge blessing she was when i finally moved out on my own into my 1st place.

Then, once i move past the sentimentalness of the piece (bribing myself by thinking "well, if i could place a picture of her in a cute frame and hang it on the wall or rotate it through the prayer table pictures, then i could donate this modern day incense burner and delight in the same effect"), i look at it's style--i think its interesting. It reminds me of Martini time which reminds me of the 50's style, which reminds me that this is what era of home i live in. At one point, i wanted the Sputnik-Atomic clock on the wall and the vinyl and chrome dinette set and all things rat packy with aqua, orange and grey walls, but Hubbie would never embrace that idea, so i went with the more traditional, yet still eccletic style within our 1959 home.

It is something i won't get much more use out of these days because i tend to like burning beeswax for the anti-asthmatic qualities. And, i am afraid the cat will get tangled up with it. And quite frankly, who am i kidding? I am the mother of a 6 y/o--when do i ever have time to just sit down and light a candle and relish in smelly good smells? Yet, still, i figure someone will have to pry it from my cold dead hand.

It has taken me 3 days to grapple over what to do with this treasure. 3 days of my conscience arguing with my sentimental side. Oy vey! And so even with all those good reasons it took me three days to think of, i was still tortured about what to do with it until just a few minutes ago.

The only reasons that could make me willingly part with this treasure and let someone else share in its glory and love it as i have was this:

my found Valentine decorations i have been collecting since November and December at some of the local antique stores. These beauties were buried under my mess on my dresser--what a waste!


It is time my self had a serious talk with itself:

Let this be a lesson to yourself, ME--it is because i keep spots full with things that i don't love anymore that i can't display things that i do. (and hopefully, should i lose sight of this message, i'll reread this post!)


I hope this fire in my gut keeps burning awhile...i'd like to really have the place looking sharp by Hubbie's birthday.