O! The fun we've had over the years! You've seen us though the early years of this family's culinary experiences. Learning to bake pizzas and breads together. Countless gingerbread cookies we have to thank for your efforts--we couldn't have done it without you, Sir!
Over the years, you've been a reliable comrade, however, lately i've notice a change in your health. Your handles don't seem to want to stay in the sockets anymore, which wouldn't normally cause me to worry, until rusty bits started working their way into my pie doughs. A few months ago, i noticed your luster wasn't as bright....on your handles as it was in my hands.
That is why, dear Sir, i am suggesting your retirement.
No, don't worry about us. Due to the holidays and all, we've been blessed with two new cadets, Sgt. Francois Pin and Lt. Taperedhandles, that truth be told have potential and spunk. True as anything these days, you'll note that it takes two of them to do your job, a testament to your fine upbringing and dedication, Sir.
As with any change in protocol, there will be an adjustment period, but due to your ailments, i am afraid that what the doc has ordered for you is strict R&R rather than staying on long enough to train the two rookies--those being the ladies of the household who've never worked with such pins as your replacements. But if i may speak frankly, Sir, the head chef of the household is tired of replacing kitchenwares at such an alarming rate, Sir, and she'd just like some pins that don't leave bits of their uniform in her attempts at fine pastries and pies.
So today, we've decided to give you a big send off along with your ticket to freedom: one last time making "Are You Sure These Are?" Cinnamon Rolls.
Thanks for your many years of service and your patience with our untrained staff.
Whit and Family