Thursday, December 24, 2009

Excerpts From The Christmas Letter '09

What's the story out there? Do any of you despise the Christmas letter as much as we do? Sure, it's a time of taking stock of the year, putting a close on it, setting goals for the next year to follow, and catch up with family and friends far and wide. However....

We can't stand it! We're all so shy, a Christmas letter makes us feel all braggy and fake. And what's worse is when we hear from friends and family who say that they LOVED reading our our Christmas greetings over and over again because they were so funny. Oh, the horror! No shy person ever wants to be put on a radar, eh?

This year, we especially felt ridiculous spending so much money on cards, when they'll just be thrown out in a month. We've taken to printing our own and those costs can add up to something that could be a hefty donation to a food bank--more importantly, a week's worth of meals, with a holiday feast thrown in, for a few families that may need a little assistance.

But in the end, usually after a good heated discussion about whether to do it at all or not, Moose and i give in to the fact that we can really pull out a good Christmas letter when we sit down to it. It helps when you're ever so slightly exhausted, fresh from a dreadful night's sleep. That's when we pull off our best Christmas letters--cause they're extremely silly! The last couple years, our cards have included Christmas poems, or limericks, describing the photo adorning the front of the card such as this beauty from 2007:
We hope you Christmas is blessed
And your New Year is bright,
As we look like three deer
Caught in Santa’s headlights!
This year, in leiu of cards, we are just sending letters. I had the idea to make the letter sound like it was being told by the narrator of a superhero radio show--you know, Superman, the Green Hornet, and all that jazz.

And with that, i took some paper and pens, headed out the front door, let the girls out for Chicken recess, and sat out in the front yard to write this year's installment of our Christmas letter.

Here are some excerpts that i hope bring a smile to your face as you ready your nest for your celebrations.

"...thankfully, not only has Moose had cycling and baseball to distract him, he also has his kind wife and fiendishly clever child to keep his spirits up. For instance, on that cool, Spring day in April when family & friends came together to celebrate his 40th birthday with a “baby shower”, as all gifts benefited the nearby pregnancy aid. Why, even his loving wife learned to make fondant to build him his dream birthday cake--that looked like a dirty baseball. Thank goodness, with it’s raspberry crème filling & chocolate frosting, family members reported that at least it tasted better than one!"

"Meanwhile, at the desk in the family’s den, his humble wife, Whit, started another blog this year in an attempt to document why women like her should never be allowed near needles: sewing, knitting, or otherwise, nor should they be left unattended in craft or thrift stores for any amount of time. Alone. With a credit card."

"Now, folks, its time for a little photographic evidence, er…, intermission, brought to you by family vacations at Pacific Beach & by a clever little game known as “Are You Smarter Than A Broody Hen?” Which incidentally for our feeble-minded family resulted in them trying to fool a cranky ol’ hen into thinking she actually hatched the 6 chicks they adopted this year. In this unfortunate case, the answer to the question was 'no.'"

" Now, on to our final update of the season…Precocious Professor Gigglepuss, er, ahem, I mean Cookie Monster. What a busy girl she has been. Of course, there is the growing like a weed, the turning into a charming young lass, and all that; but let’s just say she’s grown more teeth than she’s lost this year."

"......proving herself even more precocious this year than last, was her declaration to her dear Mum just two weeks after Kindergarten graduation in June: 'Mum, I’m ever so bored. Can we start home schooling now?' And so they did."

"This is Jack Frost signing off for the season here at KMJR AM. Wishing you and yours the merriest of Christmases and a 2010 that is cooler than a space odyessy!"

Wishing all of you wonderful ladies that stop in once and a while and catch up with me and anyone else who's reading a wonderful Merry Christmas with lots of family, fun, rejoicing, and of course, hot chocolate!!
We're off to see the family on the east side of the mountains, so we'll see you next year!!
I'll try to stop in once in a while with a few photos from our trip.
My God bless you and keep you safe this Christmas season.

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Thanks for taking the time to read my silly lil musings. Hope you have a wonderful day!